You hear the clock start the countdown: 10-9-8, whatever feelings you had earlier in the day dissipate as you feel a tingly rush of excitement and hopefulness enter your body! 7-6-5, you get a feeling of determination as you quickly think about your new goals you have set for yourself.  4-3-2…1!!!

The dumpster fire of a year that was 2020 is officially over! Praise the Lord.

AUTHOR

Taylor Bryant, MA & Nicole Katsaounis, M.Ed

CATEGORY

Newsletter

POSTED ON

January 11, 2021

It’s a new year and that means a new you, right? Let me guess, you set ambitious goals for yourself and even wrote them down this time! Maybe 2021 is the year you get your finances in order, eat healthier, and shed those pounds you have gained in quarantine. If you are a leader, your goals may have been focused on increasing profits and productivity. What is going to make reaching your goals this year different than previous New Year resolutions? How will you know you won’t fail this time? The truth is, we often look externally to improve our life. Yes, having more money and a few less pounds will no doubt improve most of our lives; however, the reason we often fail in achieving the goals we set for ourselves is because we start externally and skip over the most important thing that enables us to achieve what we want, our inner selves

The best gift we can give ourselves is the gift of doing the inner work that creates long-term and sustainable change in our lives. There are lots of ways for us to improve our inner self but, first, we need to let go. Without letting go of the things that weigh us down we will not have the time, energy, or mental capacity to reach for the stars. We must look inward and let go of anger, resentment, bitterness, and hate.

When we hold on to anger, we lose control of ourselves. We burn ourselves by allowing harmful situations to have power over our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. When we aren’t able to take our thoughts captive, we spin out of control. Those small steps forward we’ve made towards goals often fall to the wayside of our old habits. We have all heard this saying, anger is grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; But you are the one who gets burned. Anger is a natural response to triggering events. Anger is a secondary emotion. We show anger when we feel primary emotions such as betrayal, worthlessness, belittled, fearful, worried, and so on. The problem is we allow our thoughts to get stuck on that secondary emotion and we don’t focus on the primary emotions and the reasons behind them. By not addressing the root cause, we get stuck in a negative thought pattern that is not only destructive to ourselves, but those around us.

In order to break this negative cycle, we must relinquish control by forgiving.  Let me repeat that, we must forgive but that doesn’t mean we must forget the lesson life has taught us.  Forgiving others, forgiving the circumstances that we have felt held us or our business back, and forgiving ourselves opens up the space for us to relinquish control.  Forgiveness allows us the ability to let go of the coal and, instead of focusing on our secondary emotions of anger, we can focus on our primary emotions and the root of those emotions.  Forgiveness gives us the peace and space to dive deep into emotions and cognitive patterns that are themes in our life.  This year, give yourself the gift of forgiveness and releasing thoughts feelings, and emotions that have weighed you down long enough.

Do the inner work so that you are able to paint a picture of a world where you are happy, prosperous, and attaining everything you’ve set out to achieve this year. Do the inner work so that this year can be the defining year where you take back control of your life and lead it with the power and grace you have been dreaming of!

For additional support and guidance on how to forgive and let go from a Christian-based perspective, check out our talk show, “Mindtrip: Exploring the connections between mindsets and mental health” on Wednesdays at 2PM.   You can watch live on Sheisstilldope.TV or visit the Facebook page She is Still Dope.

Struggling with anger and it continues to get in the way of a fulfilling life?  Contact us to sign up for your consultation!

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